Saturday, June 2, 2007

Friendship Reflections


Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.
~ John F. Kennedy


I had a recent experience that knocked my foundation a bit. I asked a friend to do me a favor that I assumed was no big deal. And in fact, it was a big deal. My foundation was turned on its ear because my vision of friendship is very, very strong. More than that - the more "in fellowship" that I am, the more transparent I tend to be. I make jokes about my circle, and the fact that as a continuous ring it does not increase (the full bodied tea ladies know that not to be true) but can indeed get smaller. I have spent a lifetime examining the experiences of friendship. Until today.

The only person to examine in a friendship looks back at you every morning. What you are willing to do and be is based on who you are, and not on what others do, believe or demonstrate that they are. While I spent a week caught up in the "I can't believe that happened," my life was tremendously blessed, over and over again - by people who were not stuck. I tend to get "stuck." I suppose, in every situation, one can say I totally missed the context clues....or when you see the clues, you can respond, and live. I want to teach my daughter about friendships and about the lessons that I have learned. The first is, believe in yourself, and all else - disappointment included, will just have to follow.

Friendship, in fact, is a great opportunity to experience your strengths and your short comings in living color. For there are people who I would not have depended on if I hadn't realized that this too - is a lesson, to trust yourself. While I observe with curious interest my daughter's ability to learn and grow in friendship - I see that she is teaching me about the lessons as well. One day, in the far far future, I look forward to being her mother and her friend. Today, I focus on gratitude, for all the things that have been added to my life because of friends. And for the many things I have added to the lives I have touched too.

Some of the things I know
I know only because older women have
told me their secrets.
I have lived and am living long
so that
I can tell my secrets to younger women.
That's the reason we women
go on improving.

~ Maya Angelou

Are you telling young women your secrets?
Are they improving because you have shared your lessons, too?

1 comment:

Angela said...

One of the most powerful lessons I've had to learn, after being run over by the friendship train more times than I care to admit-and have the track marks to prove it-is that people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Because I, too, tend to have a very small circle (not unlike an onion; and the closer you get to the center, the more likely you're around for tears IN ALL THEIR FORMS), I often try and force people into the lifetime circle, which may not be in Divine order. The one thing I've learned, though, is that for every person whom I thought was a lifetime, and was devastated to find out they were only a season, they were replaced by a true lifer, and my life was enriched all the more from both relationships! HANG TOUGH!