On days like this I feel like I'm one lucky and blessed cookie - to spend time with my kids building blue memories like this.
More blue photos are available at the collaboration of Crazy Mamas, crazy like a wise ole fox I'd say.
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Friday, August 10, 2007
Summer Fun in Shades of Blue
On days like this I feel like I'm one lucky and blessed cookie - to spend time with my kids building blue memories like this.
More blue photos are available at the collaboration of Crazy Mamas, crazy like a wise ole fox I'd say.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Camp Underachiever
I had started to beat myself up about all the things I should have (shoulda) accomplished this Summer with the kids, as I looked at the calendar. In just a few short weeks the kids will be back at school and I was contemplating that I might have failed as a mother - not enough camps, lessons, new experiences, skills developed, I was heading for a spiral. Our budget does not permit us to do all the things I would really like to do, but there is also a piece of me that just didn't think the kids should be scheduled to the high heavens. What should a mom do...Blog!
I'm over it, or I'm getting over it. We went to the library, the zoo, the Children's Museum, the water park, and free movies every Tuesday or Wednesday. We saw cousins, grandparents and great grandma too. We played in the backyard, we slept in late and we stayed up very late too. We had playdates, week long tennis and ballet appetizers, and 2 promotions in Tae Kwon Do. (Yeah for the yellow & yellow stripe belts!)
I guess I say all of that to say I'm getting over it. 10 months out of the year we are overachievers. We try to do our best to manage schedules, lessons, life and all that comes in between. However, subtraction at the checkout counter, water in the yard, painted rooms in our house, Starbucks trips for a treat and I think we're calling it a Summer. Surely I would be happy to blog that we mastered a new language, but we didn't.
We just spent the Summer - good & bad, fun and mundane, wet & dry, cheap and over budget, together. My camp didn't have a t-shirt or a slogan, but it might read, "Mom's Camp...A treasured ritual of family time." I guess my children and I are all going to have be comfortable with that. Somehow, with ice cream cone 2,304 and an overload of outside play time, I think they'll all be fine with that.
Camp Underachiever - Enrolling for Summer 2008.
I'm over it, or I'm getting over it. We went to the library, the zoo, the Children's Museum, the water park, and free movies every Tuesday or Wednesday. We saw cousins, grandparents and great grandma too. We played in the backyard, we slept in late and we stayed up very late too. We had playdates, week long tennis and ballet appetizers, and 2 promotions in Tae Kwon Do. (Yeah for the yellow & yellow stripe belts!)
I guess I say all of that to say I'm getting over it. 10 months out of the year we are overachievers. We try to do our best to manage schedules, lessons, life and all that comes in between. However, subtraction at the checkout counter, water in the yard, painted rooms in our house, Starbucks trips for a treat and I think we're calling it a Summer. Surely I would be happy to blog that we mastered a new language, but we didn't.
We just spent the Summer - good & bad, fun and mundane, wet & dry, cheap and over budget, together. My camp didn't have a t-shirt or a slogan, but it might read, "Mom's Camp...A treasured ritual of family time." I guess my children and I are all going to have be comfortable with that. Somehow, with ice cream cone 2,304 and an overload of outside play time, I think they'll all be fine with that.
Camp Underachiever - Enrolling for Summer 2008.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
The Mommy Wars
"Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children" (Titus 2:3-4)
The Mommy Wars need a referree. (Or maybe they just need a full night of sleep.) The controversy could make any mere mortal incredibly tired.
I believe older women have the ability to teach and reach mothers in a way that can be missed by the average woman in the average experience. There has been an ongoing debate about what is best for women, or what is best for the children, depending on how the issue is addressed. Are you a stay at home mother? Are you a working mother? Are you present for your family? If you are a mother do you even have time to read further?
For starters, I know few mothers that aren't working. If you have children and you meet their basic needs - you work. Yet, if you allow the media to define the debate - it centers around women who stay at home and women who pursue professional careers. I think that approach to the debate misses the boat on many different levels. Early in my approach to parenting I rejoiced in the stay-at-home sisterhood. I eventually came to guard my choices and my values closely, without the time nor energy to argue about what decisions adult women make. I don't think that decision is the issue at all. The benefit of the doubt says we all do the best that we can.
Every mother I know aspires to do the best for their children. They make choices designed to protect the future of their children, educate them, nurture them, provide for them, love them and grow them into the best possible human beings. No two women approach that commitment in exactly the same way. The challenge as women and as mothers is to find the most authentic way to achieve those goals without losing the ability to reach your fullest potential as a person. To that end, it truly is about choices. The choices should have the well being of children at their core.
Second only to the debate about mommy wars, is my complete irritation at the comment, "you are lucky to stay at home." I have worked outside the home professionally in a full time job, I have worked as a consultant through my own business (ALlyd Image Solutions) and I have been a full time mother. Nothing was based on luck in any of those experiences. Each had a variety of benefits as well as challenges, and unfortunately I was able to see the impact of our choices on our children at every turn. Maybe I should say fortunately - as we ultimately have tailored our decisions around our values as well as our circumstances. The two can't be mutually exclusive. We don't live in a perfect world.
All of this leads to a debt of gratitude for women who have been willing to nurture and mentor me in my pursuit of meeting the needs of my family. As women, I believe there is an inherent nature of competion and comparison. The grass can indeed seem a much greener hue on the other side. I have grown as a result of women who have been willing, poised and prepared to help me to reach my ultimate goals. Isn't that a better measure of a woman? After all - the grass appears greener for many reasons. In some instances it may indeed be more green - but you have to wonder what the fertilizer was to make it that way?
Women have the potential to provide each other a tremendous support system. Support should not take the form of a critique of the parenting style you decide upon - but rather the ability to help each other in growing the next generation. I have been blessed with women who have shared their experiences, learned from their own choices and been able to excel in diverse pursuits. Yes, you can have it all I've been told - but you can not have it all at the same time. And with time being in short supply - less time should be spent on the Mommy Wars and more time dedicated to parenting the next generation. That includes both mothers and children. Mothers continue to be the primary caregivers for children and our responsibility should not focus on selecting who is right - but enriching the opportunity for children to have complete lives.
I was caught off guard with my third pregnancy and in a bit of denial about the future. I was approaching a self imposed depression when someone very close to me began rejoicing about the news. Her zeal about our ability to raise another child and her gratitude to God for my life gave me a new found energy to embrace the future. With the increasing costs of life in general we are also paying a cost for our choices. There are lessons that seasoned mothers can communicate to the next generation that can serve to help those emerging moms. We can all use all the help our hearts can hold on any given day.
The Lessons I Would Share - 3 Children Later:
1. Life is short and childhood is shorter. We are entrusted with raising our children for such a short season that we must embrace each moment with an unwaivering commitment. Children are true gifts and we have an opportunity to help them reach their fullest potential. That investment requires time, love and commitment.
2. Quality relationships matter. Children witness real life in what they see at home. The relationship that they see between their parents is of primary importance. When a child can see the interaction, respect, partnership, quarrels, joy, fun and persistance of relationship in action they have the opportunity to learn first hand the many aspects of true love.
3. Surrounding yourself with incredible women can make all the difference. There is something to be said about women who are willing to share the lessons of their life and to pray you through the challenges and obstacles that are inevitable. Investing in the lives of other women is powerful. When people work to build each other up there is a synergy that assists in your personal development. Not every lesson in life needs to be learned first hand. Our society is made more rich when older, more mature, established women reach out and nurture the next generation. Wisdom is a wonderful life lesson.
The less we engage in the war about motherhood - the more likely we can invest that time in helping each other to thrive. Being a mother is the hardest and most rewarding work of my lifetime. I'm not a half-bad consultant either, though.
The Mommy Wars need a referree. (Or maybe they just need a full night of sleep.) The controversy could make any mere mortal incredibly tired.
I believe older women have the ability to teach and reach mothers in a way that can be missed by the average woman in the average experience. There has been an ongoing debate about what is best for women, or what is best for the children, depending on how the issue is addressed. Are you a stay at home mother? Are you a working mother? Are you present for your family? If you are a mother do you even have time to read further?
For starters, I know few mothers that aren't working. If you have children and you meet their basic needs - you work. Yet, if you allow the media to define the debate - it centers around women who stay at home and women who pursue professional careers. I think that approach to the debate misses the boat on many different levels. Early in my approach to parenting I rejoiced in the stay-at-home sisterhood. I eventually came to guard my choices and my values closely, without the time nor energy to argue about what decisions adult women make. I don't think that decision is the issue at all. The benefit of the doubt says we all do the best that we can.
Every mother I know aspires to do the best for their children. They make choices designed to protect the future of their children, educate them, nurture them, provide for them, love them and grow them into the best possible human beings. No two women approach that commitment in exactly the same way. The challenge as women and as mothers is to find the most authentic way to achieve those goals without losing the ability to reach your fullest potential as a person. To that end, it truly is about choices. The choices should have the well being of children at their core.
Second only to the debate about mommy wars, is my complete irritation at the comment, "you are lucky to stay at home." I have worked outside the home professionally in a full time job, I have worked as a consultant through my own business (ALlyd Image Solutions) and I have been a full time mother. Nothing was based on luck in any of those experiences. Each had a variety of benefits as well as challenges, and unfortunately I was able to see the impact of our choices on our children at every turn. Maybe I should say fortunately - as we ultimately have tailored our decisions around our values as well as our circumstances. The two can't be mutually exclusive. We don't live in a perfect world.
All of this leads to a debt of gratitude for women who have been willing to nurture and mentor me in my pursuit of meeting the needs of my family. As women, I believe there is an inherent nature of competion and comparison. The grass can indeed seem a much greener hue on the other side. I have grown as a result of women who have been willing, poised and prepared to help me to reach my ultimate goals. Isn't that a better measure of a woman? After all - the grass appears greener for many reasons. In some instances it may indeed be more green - but you have to wonder what the fertilizer was to make it that way?
Women have the potential to provide each other a tremendous support system. Support should not take the form of a critique of the parenting style you decide upon - but rather the ability to help each other in growing the next generation. I have been blessed with women who have shared their experiences, learned from their own choices and been able to excel in diverse pursuits. Yes, you can have it all I've been told - but you can not have it all at the same time. And with time being in short supply - less time should be spent on the Mommy Wars and more time dedicated to parenting the next generation. That includes both mothers and children. Mothers continue to be the primary caregivers for children and our responsibility should not focus on selecting who is right - but enriching the opportunity for children to have complete lives.
I was caught off guard with my third pregnancy and in a bit of denial about the future. I was approaching a self imposed depression when someone very close to me began rejoicing about the news. Her zeal about our ability to raise another child and her gratitude to God for my life gave me a new found energy to embrace the future. With the increasing costs of life in general we are also paying a cost for our choices. There are lessons that seasoned mothers can communicate to the next generation that can serve to help those emerging moms. We can all use all the help our hearts can hold on any given day.
The Lessons I Would Share - 3 Children Later:
1. Life is short and childhood is shorter. We are entrusted with raising our children for such a short season that we must embrace each moment with an unwaivering commitment. Children are true gifts and we have an opportunity to help them reach their fullest potential. That investment requires time, love and commitment.
2. Quality relationships matter. Children witness real life in what they see at home. The relationship that they see between their parents is of primary importance. When a child can see the interaction, respect, partnership, quarrels, joy, fun and persistance of relationship in action they have the opportunity to learn first hand the many aspects of true love.
3. Surrounding yourself with incredible women can make all the difference. There is something to be said about women who are willing to share the lessons of their life and to pray you through the challenges and obstacles that are inevitable. Investing in the lives of other women is powerful. When people work to build each other up there is a synergy that assists in your personal development. Not every lesson in life needs to be learned first hand. Our society is made more rich when older, more mature, established women reach out and nurture the next generation. Wisdom is a wonderful life lesson.
The less we engage in the war about motherhood - the more likely we can invest that time in helping each other to thrive. Being a mother is the hardest and most rewarding work of my lifetime. I'm not a half-bad consultant either, though.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
When People Really Get You
About like I planned, this birthday was not something to write home about. In fact - it may have been something to leave home about. For whatever the reason(s), my husband tends to just miss the birthday importance, in severe terms. It isn't that he didn't purchase a gift, he did. It was beautiful. We are on a budget and he was creative and it was very nice. The reality is, my birthday didn't even come up during the course of the day. Around 8:15 p.m., when my kids should be in the bed - I had a technical melt down. I couldn't believe that they didn't do a song, a cake, kiddie cards, the like....my husband missed that part with flying colors. It was a bit sad to say the least.
However, there is light at the end of the tunnel. A good friend had a inspirational moment and asked if she could drop by a few days later. Both budget challenged, this has been the first series of holidays that we weren't really able to celebrate in our traditional fashion. She showed up unexpectedly, with a big bag, hot pink tissue paper was exploding everywhere. She said, "this was a God idea." I couldn't imagine what she had decided.
Traditionally, she has a habit of filling some crafty basket with female items that we never purchase for ourselves. She will typically do some gourmet food, bath and body stuff, some odd ball thing only she would think of, a book, and wrap it with a creative twang of her own. Not this time. It was actually a bit odd.
I sat down at the table to open the bag....and wahla....a LMax Leapster, complete with the Cars cartridge and batteries. A gift that only a mother could love. My friend doesn't have kids and has become a surrogate mother for my three upon occassion. She is the "loving auntie" that has all of the goodie bags, craft distractions and popular toys - just because. We spend our days joking about her eggs and the need to use them quickly, so that I get to be the "cool auntie" for her kids. Meanwhile, what she did for my birthday was not about kids at all. Her gesture was about knowing a mothers heart.
Early this month 2 of my 3 children were having a field day with their Leapsters. One child has been the resident cool gift holder for years, and we purchased the second for my middle child for Christmas. I debated the idea of buying three, and opted for a less costly electronic laptop. I think we've used it twice. The cool gift is the Leapster.
On a visit to Auntie Cool's house, my son said..."I'm praying to God for Andrew to get a Leapster of his own." He prayed for a few brief moments and sincerely asked God to bless his brother. I said to my friend, if I had my choice, I think I would just purchase a leapster for my baby and consider that birthday completion. Our budget was more than tight after the holidays and we have so many competing interests that toys aren't the top priority they are a strategic choice. I didn't think much about it after that - in fact, it was probably surfacing around my March list of things to do. If I modified my Starbucks habit and had a bad day, the Leapster would soon be his.
Instead, on my dreaded birthday - the day I often avoid because depression looms - I got surprised. It is hard to surprise me. I opened that bag and saw straight through to the heart of someone who understands me. Sure, pamper me time is important for any mother. I work hard at my first priority and they are a treasure - most of the time. But during this seasons - when the glass was looking half empty vs. half full, I was reminded about the blessings of friendship. Having people who truly understand you is a gift.
My youngest son squealed, as he assumed rightly so that my birthday gift was his blessing. I get to see the 3 year old manuever his hotly saught gadget after months of patiently being last in line. He was and is thrilled about his leapster. My middle son says, "it's mommy's leapster not yours." What my friend understood was that the desires of our heart are most often expressed genuinely by our desires for others. It wasn't what I expected at all - but it was an amazing gift. A gift that makes you thankful for the people who really get you and don't apologize for understanding exactly who you are. Happy Birthday to me - with a sincere smile on my face.
However, there is light at the end of the tunnel. A good friend had a inspirational moment and asked if she could drop by a few days later. Both budget challenged, this has been the first series of holidays that we weren't really able to celebrate in our traditional fashion. She showed up unexpectedly, with a big bag, hot pink tissue paper was exploding everywhere. She said, "this was a God idea." I couldn't imagine what she had decided.
Traditionally, she has a habit of filling some crafty basket with female items that we never purchase for ourselves. She will typically do some gourmet food, bath and body stuff, some odd ball thing only she would think of, a book, and wrap it with a creative twang of her own. Not this time. It was actually a bit odd.
I sat down at the table to open the bag....and wahla....a LMax Leapster, complete with the Cars cartridge and batteries. A gift that only a mother could love. My friend doesn't have kids and has become a surrogate mother for my three upon occassion. She is the "loving auntie" that has all of the goodie bags, craft distractions and popular toys - just because. We spend our days joking about her eggs and the need to use them quickly, so that I get to be the "cool auntie" for her kids. Meanwhile, what she did for my birthday was not about kids at all. Her gesture was about knowing a mothers heart.
Early this month 2 of my 3 children were having a field day with their Leapsters. One child has been the resident cool gift holder for years, and we purchased the second for my middle child for Christmas. I debated the idea of buying three, and opted for a less costly electronic laptop. I think we've used it twice. The cool gift is the Leapster.
On a visit to Auntie Cool's house, my son said..."I'm praying to God for Andrew to get a Leapster of his own." He prayed for a few brief moments and sincerely asked God to bless his brother. I said to my friend, if I had my choice, I think I would just purchase a leapster for my baby and consider that birthday completion. Our budget was more than tight after the holidays and we have so many competing interests that toys aren't the top priority they are a strategic choice. I didn't think much about it after that - in fact, it was probably surfacing around my March list of things to do. If I modified my Starbucks habit and had a bad day, the Leapster would soon be his.
Instead, on my dreaded birthday - the day I often avoid because depression looms - I got surprised. It is hard to surprise me. I opened that bag and saw straight through to the heart of someone who understands me. Sure, pamper me time is important for any mother. I work hard at my first priority and they are a treasure - most of the time. But during this seasons - when the glass was looking half empty vs. half full, I was reminded about the blessings of friendship. Having people who truly understand you is a gift.
My youngest son squealed, as he assumed rightly so that my birthday gift was his blessing. I get to see the 3 year old manuever his hotly saught gadget after months of patiently being last in line. He was and is thrilled about his leapster. My middle son says, "it's mommy's leapster not yours." What my friend understood was that the desires of our heart are most often expressed genuinely by our desires for others. It wasn't what I expected at all - but it was an amazing gift. A gift that makes you thankful for the people who really get you and don't apologize for understanding exactly who you are. Happy Birthday to me - with a sincere smile on my face.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
The Thinker
DEEP REFLECTION AT ITS BEST
Together my husband and I have made many interesting collaborations - he's bricks and mortar, I'm more touchy feely. He wants to see economic development, I tend to look at economic empowerment. He would probably thrive in an urban environment with the fast pace of life serving as an energy source - the lights, the movement, the potential the development. I enjoy suburban life. I like the accessibility of things that are a part of our life, I like the relationships that my children are building, I like watching them play in the cul de sac, I like our home - which although a work in progress is as my father-in-law gently put it, "a real house." There are so many differences, I imagine they will fill our posts and our political exchanges in the blog world. Yet, what I always say in our heated exchanges (intense fellowship opportunities) - don't sell touchy feely short. I have made choices that are not typical for many of my peers. My educational achievements and professional pursuits are edited through the lense of motherhood - my chosen investment for a lifetime. I'm proud of all of the things that make me who I am - independent, fiercely opinionated, artsy, analytical, and a writer at heart. Conservative and compassionate, real. REAL.
However, in a world that sums up life by what you have and what you own we don't quite have our "American Dream" summed up. What I know for sure is that when opposites attract, wonderful things are possible. In fact, wondeful people are possible. Our youngest child was a surprise...well as much as married people can be surprised by pregnancy. He is such an addition to our lives and the perfect compliment to our expanding family. He captures the best of us and is equally reflective and energy laden on any average day. Most of his days are far from average. Deciding to be the primary caregiver for our children was not without financial implications, career implications and professional angst. When I look at his face, when I see his eyes, when all else seems to fall hard on the shoulders of choices deferred - I am elated to be a mother first, and all else follows from that decision. The thinker in my life tends to eat pizza for breakfast if I allow and waits too long before going to the potty, the most recent complication to our morning love fest. Our alone time is the source of many of my most hopeful moments and most peaceful experiences. Today, snuggled in the wee hours of the morning before any person in the house was awake - I realized the full potential of any day. Being up early, moving before the world has its privileges.
I imagine that this blog will mostly be an opportunity for reflection for me - a place to put the ideas that rush through my mind and heart each day. I want to have more discipline about writing and this will surely be a start. The possibility of dedication, discipline and desire must be endless. I hope it is - because these pages are the start of something new - a place where motherhood, being a wife, being a friend, being an entrepreneur and being a woman of substance meet.
Together my husband and I have made many interesting collaborations - he's bricks and mortar, I'm more touchy feely. He wants to see economic development, I tend to look at economic empowerment. He would probably thrive in an urban environment with the fast pace of life serving as an energy source - the lights, the movement, the potential the development. I enjoy suburban life. I like the accessibility of things that are a part of our life, I like the relationships that my children are building, I like watching them play in the cul de sac, I like our home - which although a work in progress is as my father-in-law gently put it, "a real house." There are so many differences, I imagine they will fill our posts and our political exchanges in the blog world. Yet, what I always say in our heated exchanges (intense fellowship opportunities) - don't sell touchy feely short. I have made choices that are not typical for many of my peers. My educational achievements and professional pursuits are edited through the lense of motherhood - my chosen investment for a lifetime. I'm proud of all of the things that make me who I am - independent, fiercely opinionated, artsy, analytical, and a writer at heart. Conservative and compassionate, real. REAL.
However, in a world that sums up life by what you have and what you own we don't quite have our "American Dream" summed up. What I know for sure is that when opposites attract, wonderful things are possible. In fact, wondeful people are possible. Our youngest child was a surprise...well as much as married people can be surprised by pregnancy. He is such an addition to our lives and the perfect compliment to our expanding family. He captures the best of us and is equally reflective and energy laden on any average day. Most of his days are far from average. Deciding to be the primary caregiver for our children was not without financial implications, career implications and professional angst. When I look at his face, when I see his eyes, when all else seems to fall hard on the shoulders of choices deferred - I am elated to be a mother first, and all else follows from that decision. The thinker in my life tends to eat pizza for breakfast if I allow and waits too long before going to the potty, the most recent complication to our morning love fest. Our alone time is the source of many of my most hopeful moments and most peaceful experiences. Today, snuggled in the wee hours of the morning before any person in the house was awake - I realized the full potential of any day. Being up early, moving before the world has its privileges.
I imagine that this blog will mostly be an opportunity for reflection for me - a place to put the ideas that rush through my mind and heart each day. I want to have more discipline about writing and this will surely be a start. The possibility of dedication, discipline and desire must be endless. I hope it is - because these pages are the start of something new - a place where motherhood, being a wife, being a friend, being an entrepreneur and being a woman of substance meet.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)