Sunday, July 20, 2008

In Living Color - the Alpha Kappa Alpha Barbie

I am a proud member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. I grew up looking to the examples of tremendous women who made a wonderful impact on their community, their church and their family. Of the many, many role models that I had - my Aunt Katherine may have been by far one of the clearest reasons why I understood that the women of AKA were indeed the best of the best. I am heartened that my daughter has had the privilege of growing up with "Great Aunt Katherine" - another generation that gets to admire her tremendous influence.

So, the woman who introduced my daughter to American Girls and the story of Addy, will also squeal (skee-wee, actually) to know that we are waiting anxiously for our very own AKA Barbie. Revealed at our 100th anniversary celebration at the Boule in Washington, D.C. I was just a bit surprised at the hoopla over AKA Barbie's complexion. I'm not sure why I should be surprised, but I was.

When I read blog posts and other feedback about the hue of this beautiful black woman's skin, I shook my head for the umpteenth time. Why do we feel that in order to be African American, we must somehow hit a certain hue on the color spectrum? I read a comment by a self-identified member of Delta Sigma Theta on the NPR Tell Me More site, which indicated that she looked forward to a more brown Barbie when they reach their centennial. Dear God, are we talking about adult women debating in 2008 (especially when it has nothing at all to do with them) the color of a doll designed to honor women who have dedicated 100 years to serving their community. My friends, my sorors, my sista's in general come in every shade and the debate about complexion is non-sense. This is not School Daze and Spike Lee isn't writing a narrative about undergraduate life. Don't like it, don't buy it. Can't see this as a beautiful Black doll, then it isn't for you. No discussion merited in my book, unless you are not happy with your own skin color.

I'm not blindly drinking kool-aid, there are things that I do not like about the image or stereotype of Greek letter organizations, and a myriad of actions and activities I wish were not part of our history. The whole brown bag mess has been laughable for decades in my household, where my mother - a Soror and cocoa brown woman - raised me with the values, expectations and guidance to become who I am today. When I heard my dear sorors chanting about being conceited during a taping of a NPR segment, I was saddened for my entire sisterhood. Beyond stepping and childhood chants when I was still an undergrad - my dear Sorority means so much more. Not only does it mean more to me, it means more to the millions of people who have been served by each of our members so faithfully.

I have read comments that question Christian character, leadership, dignity and blackness...all associated with coverage of 100 years of service. To then read random craziness about the color of Barbie's skin...let all of the caramel, butterscotch, vanilla, cream, and every other assortment of skin color collectively say - "Get a Life." I regret some people have been limited by the first 8 colors in their crayon box, that they have failed to embrace a life much bigger and more meaningful, then wasting time talking about is she "Black Enough." My daughter, with the smooth chocolate tones of her dad, has said only one word, "Beautiful."

Further, I'm so glad that I had the chance to be guided by an Aunt who taught Sunday School every Sunday, brought snacks for the students she tutored after she had taught all day at a different school, took care of hundreds of children each year - even though she never gave birth to one of her own, participated in every reading/mentor/make a kid better program held in our community, guided me through standardized testing when it was not a part of what everyone understood as critical to higher education, encouraged and mentored regarding every fashion woe growing up, recruited men from the far corners of the world to teach her students about health/fitness/finance and education, and all of this to say....Barbie did just fine creating a likeness for her legacy. I guess, we'll be raising daughters for the next 100 years to understand - let no one group, no one word, no one experience, no one affiliation, define you.

And yes, Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. has done just fine in our 100 years of service - we're more than a collection of monotone or monochrome women. I just pray that one day we'll get past the trading of stereotypes and insults, and have a bit of gratitude for those who regardless of their affiliation serve their neighborhoods, community, country, churches, shelters, libraries, schools, young women, etc. no matter what their tone.

Frankly, I'm glad I'm woman enough to recognize excellence wherever I see it. On most days...I wish their were more actions worthy of being noted as excellent, no matter who was responsible or credited for it. Congratulations, Aunt Katherine, AKA, and Mattel/Barbie...for a job well done. God help us all.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Comfort Zone

So this weekend we traded in our tranquility for a Backyard barbecue of sorts. I had decided I would just invite some folks over which is contrary to our traditional nature. (We're not people people - friendly enough - not very social though.) We decided we wouldn't keep waiting for things to be the "ideal" time, set-up, or whatever...we would just invite friends for food and fellowship. Well my once serene backyard doesn't look like that right now. It is filled with backyard toys, the community approved slide set, a cooler and remnants of lawn chairs and grill tools. I'm learning that truly there is a season for everything.

When we first moved we were just as happy to have time out on the patio for nothing but serenity. With the idea of a backyard barbecue came the preparation, multi-tasking, an array of guests, and things that inevitably fall short of you aspirations. More importantly however, we managed to get together with friends and people we care about. I guess, all things considered, it's a nice change of pace. We're pressing out of our comfort zone - and picture perfect, we're growing beyond that ideal for something right sized just for us.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

600 Closing and counting...


I have an addiction - Grande Skinny Hazelnut Latte - with 2 Splenda. In this economy, decreasing or eliminating this habit requires no explanation. People get it. Even my friends who don't support the coffee industry in this way have been asking me over the last week, "Did you hear how many stores are closing?" Well, this weekend I was prompted to reconsider my coffee addiction again - customer service has gone to an all time low.

During recent weeks there have been promotions to get more people into Starbucks, and to encourage the use and registration of the cards which symbolize our habit. I have been curious about the lack of consistency between stores for quite some time, and I now know that there are only some places worthy of spending $4 for refreshment. The problem is, I now often have a total around $14 when my children and my husband get into the picture. So, rewards associated with a registered card...I'm all over it. Until Saturday.

I went to my neighborhood Starbucks - also know as my preferred location. I asked simply, "what is your free drink policy with registered cards" - recognizing that different locations handle the benefit differently. Some provide a free beverage of your choice when you reload, some provide a free cup of coffee, and still others are only prompted when you load a new card. I'm not a collector of plastic, so I typically reload the 2 cards that I own and leave it at that. My interest in finding out the local policy was based on my 5 family members shouting out their preferences - a free drink would have been welcomed.

I encountered, however, the Barista from...well, the one who didn't graduate from service school at the Starbucks Academy. 24 hours later, and I'm still irritated with the experience- irritated enough to simply skip my habit today. Her quips about my inquiry seemed laced with the idea that I was annoying her, that she somehow had to answer this question seemed painful. I shared about the lack of consistency I had experienced - and she (without anyone in line) boiled down the issue to one of, "Well what do you want?" Well, I wanted answers, a good coffee drink and some pleasant exchange that made me feel better about my 3rd stop of the weekend. What I got was a reality check - some people work at Starbuck who have failed to note recent closings, increased competition, stock prices in fluctuation.....

The experience was made worse when I couldn't find my card, and she had already provided my drink (one of three) for free. When it was all said an done, I found the card - reloaded it for a minimal amount - and decided that I had somehow lost my way. With all the product placement, a history of memories and a love of coffee....I expected my Starbucks relationship would be permanent. Yet, as I pursue an ongoing reflection on why I make the choices I make each week - I have declared Starbucks free zone a time to really contrast my early days with the experience and my experience now. Maybe its the relocation from Michigan or $4/gallon gas - whatever the catalyst - I don't think I'm feeling it anymore. Or maybe I've stopped drinking the coffee long enough to exhale and recognize....

1. Panera has Hazelnut
2. Paradise has great WiFi
3. McDonald's has more than transfats
4. Home Brewed ain't half bad

... I was saddened upon first learning that Starbucks was having a shift in their momentum. Now I'm believing if they aren't careful...this will be the start of many more to come.