Domestic Sexy

It has been nearly 13 years, and I don't define sexy in the same way anymore. I was talking to someone recently about the decision to be happy and laughing at what time, age and maturity will bring to a relationship. I got mulched on Mother's Day, and I'm sure it would be a much less exciting achievement for a younger woman. Really, when I thought about what I wanted in celebration of being a mom - it wasn't much aside from the comfort of motherhood and our life. The kids had come up with a variety of flowers and such (mainly created from the loving hands of pre-school teachers I could just kiss, really); and my husband mulched me. That's pretty sexy.

I decided to write today, not because of the mulch, but another level of domestic bliss. Rodent kill. Yep, my husband has been dutifully working at decreasing the chipmunk population in my nature preserves in the back yard. I had given him plenty of feedback about how to address this increasingly annoying issue, including the store, the product and the method to eliminate any sign of these nasty creatures. And true to form - he did NOTHING I asked. He investigated his own method, found these cumbersome traps with directions in 10 languages, and decided not to drown the varmints but to take them miles away and free them. I am not kidding. He doesn't recycle, but he wants to spare the chipmunks a pond death (which was my suggestion) and just take them to a new home. By this morning we had seen 6 chipmunks, old and young, small and large, fast and seemingly faster. When I returned home from church (with a scoff at the wasted peanut butter and bird seed), my daughter delighted in telling me that 2 had been captured. (I now owe my husband $2 for his success.) Within a few hours number three were released in a nature preserve about 8 miles away. I could further comment on the ridiculous nature of his method, but what a domestically sexy move. I tell you, it comes in on my top 10 list now somewhere around cutting the lawn after church on Sunday, or turning back my side of the bed when I'm destined to reach there first. Domestic sexy.

I joined an alumni website for Purdue and had enough mixed emotions to cause stomach upset. I was getting ready to decide just how old I felt, when I was refreshed by the fact that some things indeed are just much better with time. I don't have enough wine experience to make a good analogy, but I do have plenty of experience in relationships. I think about those that are for a time, a reason and a season...but more importantly, those that are for a lifetime. I must be a complete pain to live with - yep, I admit it. I'm stubborn, often evil, fiercely protective, and a tad judgmental. Most importantly, though, I am loved for just being me. I give up art shows in this lifetime for mounds of yard work, and get untold joy from all garbage cans being emptied and taken out without my feedback or request. I enjoy Sex and the City as much as foreign affairs, politics and good literature. I am who I am, and I am completely smitten with domestic sexy.

I can't relate to men who don't do diapers, bath time or kidlet duty. I am scared by fathers who use the term baby sit in any reference to their own personal relationship with their children. I share real life stories with young women who ask me about marriage that are neither of the fairy tale brand or idealistic. The one thing that I can do well, however, is capture the essence of marital bliss for this real woman. Dishes are divine. Mopped floors are magical. Laundry completed is luxurious. And being mulched...magnificent. Don't get me wrong, an overdue date, dinner out or a poetry slam is pretty nice; and I'm looking forward to an overdue vacation. Somewhere really nice. Without the children. For today however, I'll just glow in domestic sexy and look at the pond as the chipmunks disappear one by one!

Pure joy.

Why Keep Apologizing?

I wonder why people continue to apologize for their support of a particular candidate. When Hillary indicates that she is going to continue to represent hard working, hard working white people, she says it all. I hope we wake up before its too late - she's not running to represent the people. She's already decided who represents her best chances, and she doesn't apologize for what she believes. When someone Black votes for Barack the automatic assumption is that the person hasn't thought through their decision, weighed their options, critically decided who deserves their support. The assumption is "of course, you are supporting Barack because he's Black." Leads me to wonder, why aren't there more polls asking the obvious question.

So when we look at West Virginia and Kentucky, will we analyze just why they went overwhelmingly in Hillary's favor? I am ready to never hear the words Democratic Primary again, because the reality is that Hillary wouldn't even be still in the race if this had not become a contest about race. The intentional efforts to make this about race and gender instead of the issues has left many of us "sick and tired." Sick and tired of politics as usual.

And since Barack is of mixed heritage...does that mean White people just vote for a part of him? Don't bother to respond, I am truly sick of the racist mindset and the fear tactics. And to my one racist commenter, save your time and your energy. "My people" are no different than "Your People" - I will continue to assume that the benefit of the doubt may be necessary to understand why Barack has:

1. More Delegates
2. More Popular Vote
3. More Superdelegates

and yet, no nomination. What is the color of that logic?

Political Craziness from Clinton Supporters

Life is busy. I haven't been posting regularly, because I have a life. Yet, today I got yet another crazy comment from a Clinton supporter. I usually post all comments, but in the last month I've had about 4 statements that have painted a clear picture in my mind about the types f folks supporting Hillary. Particularly, I'm attracting craziness from men of color who support her.

Today's entry wasn't foul mouthed and personally offensive, just misguided in his picture of my politics and of Obama. I posted it, and my response is both in the comments and below. I'm glad when someone comments, but I'm personally exhausted with the idealism that any president will be the cure all, and that someone we owe any more time to Billary and her devisive mess.

Here's What I had to say:


A dude for Clinton -

Like everyone, you certainly have the right and obligation to support whomever you think is the best for the job. I do, indeed, appreciate your comments and stopping by my blog. Although I support Barack, I'm not foolish enough to believe that any one person is the cure all and end all of making our nation better. I don't believe that someone has to agree with my, or Barack's opinions, which by the way - aren't consistent on many issues.

What I do know, is that anyone who uses racial politics to kill the Democratic party, will surely reap exactly what they sow. I have watched the Clinton Machine do what it does best, and the people who will lose will not be people who had hope in Obama, it will indeed be the entire nation as we endure politics as usual.

The belief that Clinton has experience and will not be learning on the job is equally ridiculous, to quote you my friend. She believes that failing health care, proximity to the office, and being Bill's wife have given her greater insight. Greater insight into the backward dealings of self serving politicians, maybe. She would do any and everything to ensure her candidacy, with no regard for the overall political challenge, which should be to adjust the leadership in Washington to shift past what has happened in the last 8 years. Clinton won't do that however, she'll keep moving the bar, changing the end game, and using the rhetorical of personal attack to become the victor. Problem is, she won't win anything, broaden the party or shift politics to anything that hasn't happened before.

Consensus building surely can't be what you believe will happen with Clinton. Or maybe, you are as naive as you'd like to paint anyone who doesn't agree w/Clinton to be.

I don't suggest that Hillary or her supporters should shut up - but I'm sick and tired of hearing that anyone who supports Obama does so because he is Black. The ignorance which makes and assumes this statement, is as troubling as the possibility that we'll have 4 more years of Clinton politics. I'm all for everyone having a voice - but the Democratic party, and the men who from time to time post nonsense about placing me or my views in a box, are tiring. Make a decision already. And when you do - invest your time in that, and stop insisting that anything unlike your view of the election is somehow wrong.

I respectfully disagree. But anyone reading my entire blog, would surely know that. But Clinton supporters, they aren't real good about history. They in fact, believe that we're lucky, should be greatly for all they have done, and surely we should be thankful we're Black, because we couldn't reach any point of prominence or beat them - unless our color was a factor. But, I believe the point is that I somehow have a crazy view. A wakeup call anyone?