Presidential Valentine's

I have had some friends indicate in one way or another that they believe my support for Barack is over the top. I really disagree, I've posted about my issues w/a few of his stances on many occasions. Reality is though, I guess we vote for whomever motivates us to believe they are capable of making decisions that benefit our home, our community, our nation and our world.

As a married woman of nearly 13 years, I must say that I have the utmost respect for Barack Obama's decision to spend Valentine's Day with his wife. At the most heated point in this political process, with negative ads airing in multiple states, and on the heels of several high profile mess starters (i.e. Julian come lately Bond) Obama spent time at home. I know that he was probably on a flight at darkthirty in the morning back on the stump, but it did my heart good to think of someone with their priorities in the right place. Win or lose, he has a family, a wife and 2 girls to care for. I want to believe in a leader who understands the tremendous demands and pressures that are placed on an individual who answers the call to service. I want to believe in a man like Barack Obama.

I am heartened to know that there are people throughout this nation who are rethinking their obligations as a SuperDelegate. I had started wondering if I was the only person who thought it strange that someone could vote against the overwhelming will of the people throughout their state. Michigan and Florida broke the rules, I don't even think there should be an additional conversation about that. But my same heart that relishes the idea of a man of character leading this country, would be equally heartened if a woman of character were to lead this country. Maybe next time there will be one in the race and I'll be able to make that choice. For me, there's not much debate.

The policy differences are just that, slight differences without great distinction. The goals and objectives of their healthcare plans are not worlds apart, the greater issue becomes timing for covering the most and hardest to cover people. I'm a little slow to open my heart on this argument, I was dismayed by the debate regarding a higher minimum wage when I'm still looking for my wage increase to pay student loans. But I digress. Since I'm not a liberal extremist Barack didn't always appear to be a likely choice. I voted Republican so recently that I'm still repenting. That being said - I have 3 children who are now able to spill out Barack facts with the best of strangers. They are increasing their historical references for Michelle too, and she's no slacker. He married an equal, an amazing woman of substance I'd be happy to have in Washington. I'm thinking if she had run, she'd be the one with my vote. She's a wife, a mother, and a woman of amazing accomplishment and substance - and I can fully understand making the decision to spend Valentine's Day with her. After all, I'm a newbie to the all encompassing political watch - but I'm convinced, Michelle having his back is a good place for him to be with more hullabaloo to come.

Looking for Daddy

I very rarely post in Alaine's blog space. We blog about different issues and ideas for the most part. She talks alot about our family and children, an area I'm far less competent at writing about. But every once in a while, I have an insight.

I didn't grow up with my father, never even met him until I was 14. Mine was a single parent home. My mother raised me and my Dad simply wasn't in the picture. For the most part, I can only recall feeling sorry for myself about this once during childhood. It was a moment that passed quickly and I got on with life. Having no Dad was just the way it was and how it had always been. While it never really troubled me, paradoxically, I grew up resolving that I would have a whole family one day and that my children would know their father.

Even still, though I understand intellectually that my children love me and that my interaction and presence in their life is important and meaningful to them, I have to confess that more often than not it doesn't feel particularly real and present to me. But sometimes it gets brought home to me with great clarity.

Recently, my 5 year old son had a Daddy's Day at school. On this day, all the Dads were to come for lunch and eat with the kids and hang out with them. I was a few minutes late arriving at the school and when I got there, the children had already been seated in the cafeteria with their Dads at the tables. I walked in and began looking for my son. I spotted him before he spotted me. He was looking for me too. He was sitting at the table, scanning the room, on the lookout for me. It was the look on his face as he searched anxiously for sign of his Dad that I haven't forgotten since: a look of worry and concern, maybe even the beginnings of fear, that his Dad was not going to be there for him, that maybe he had been abandoned. It was a look that told me that while this was perhaps just an inconvenient interruption of my workday for me, that for him it was a big frikking deal. It mattered to him big time. It made a difference to him if I was there or not.

I waved to catch his attention as I strode forward to join him, like a giant through a crowd of elves. For a moment, all I thought was "let me banish that look from his eyes right now". When he saw me, his face lit up like the brightest strobe light you've ever seen (my son has a wonderful smile). He hollered "Daddy" as I came into his view and instantly his demeanor changed from fearful and worried to happy and carefree. We had a wonderful time. But in that moment before he knew I was there, when he was "looking for Daddy", I learned something about how very real and important my presence is to him. I grew up without Dad and its clear to me that I really missed something, though strangely enough, its hard to define what it was. But now and then, I gain glimpses of what I lost through my children, who have what I didn't. I never knew a childhood with my father. My children will never know one without.