Thursday, May 17, 2007

This is My Confession


Usher - an attractive R & B singer who is too young for me to really look at - but, my oh my .... has a song that discusses Confessions. While I will not admit the great appreciation I have for this young man - if I had a cool site his song would play in the background as you read this post. (His picture will disappear in a few days to save my dignity - but for now I have so few visitors - no harm, no harm.)

No, not my confession about some hot young man - my confessions about things I said I would never do and "mommy hacks" which was encouraged by the ladies at the carnival.

Well I Never. Oh, but I did, and I do.

1. Feed my children hot dogs as dinner food, and add fruit for a balanced "meal".

2. Justify cold pizza for breakfast to avoid getting a tardy at school, while telling the "gifted child" - look - you have protein, dairy, carbs and it is indeed a breakfast my dear.

3. Send my sons to retrieve sanitary products from a different bathroom in the house - by sending them on a search and find mission for peach plastic diaper pods. (Don't ask, I'm already ashamed.)

4. Eat off of my childrens plate. I will never consume half eaten food from someone else's plate said the woman I used to be. Until she encountered the woman that I am that cooked pot roast, green beans, tender baby carrots, cabbage and had 2/3 folks tell me that they would prefer something less spicy, less healthy, less vegetably, or some other word that doesn't sound like gratitude for my labor. (Refer to #1)

5. Play on the computer instead of engaging in some intellectual, esteem building activity with my children. A woman needs a break, okay.

6. Use a marker for interior decorating purposes. Need to correct a dent, chip in a picture frame, cover up that oddity on the stairs .... scrapbook supplies 101, or a good Sharpie I tell ya.

7. Threaten to spank my children in front of their class as an effective mechanism for asserting my role as an effective parent. (By the way - it did work)

8. Achieve clean counter tops for guests by taking a laundry basket and using my hand as a shovel. Yup. I love flylady and I love order, and I love - Rubbermaid. The blue handled basket with flexible sides does wonder for one's temporary dignity.

9. Cuss. As a Christian and a work in progress, I strive to set an example that my children will appreciate later in life. I work to be an active member of my community, neighborhood, church and workforce. I strive to be the person who leads, motivates and inspires. I cuss from time to time. Ask my children:

Infant girl age 2 some years ago, "What the hell, what the hell?" After stumbling upon some mess of toys on the floor.

Toddler boy age 3 a year ago, after my mother used a choice word in her kitchen. "Ass hole, Ass hole." And after I scolded my mother, she clarified, " I said ass, he added hole, and he didn't learn it here."

4 year old boy during a summer game, "Oh Shit." After things didn't go quite right.

I'm telling you, I said I would never. My house is not a potty mouth house, and you might even enjoy my hospitality. But, if we are confessing - tell the truth, and shame the devil. God already heard it anyway.

10. Pick a bogger out of child's nose with my finger because he couldn't blow it out - and I was tired of dealing with it. Yep, I did it. And...I drove home with it on my finger until I cried at the steering wheel and realized that I really needed more time out as an adult. A grown woman with a bogger.

So, maybe later I'll tell you what new uses I have come up with for everyday products, but my dignity (or lack thereof )has made me cease my writing for today.

Sigh................

4 comments:

nobaddays said...

You sound like my kind of mama ... I mean like the kind of mama I am :o) Nice to meet you.

Mama Zen said...

My, my, my!! That is one, um, healthy looking young man!

Forgot what I was going to write . . .

Oh, yeah! Number four! Doesn't that just get to you? And, since I refuse to waste food, I also pick off my child's plate. This one's even worse: I have actually eaten the cookie parts of an Oreo after my daughter has licked off the filling. How's that for gross?

Yvette said...

LOL, A! Well, we;ve all been there, yes? Anyway, thanks for the Friday laugh--not to mention the eye candy!

Anonymous said...

LOL - I could relate in part to #3...my daughter found it very amusing at the tender age of 3 to discover that her momma wore a diaper which she quickly shared with her preschool class upon arrival that day. Combine that with the cuss words she has on occassion heard me utter at a driver...your list is priceless! I resemble it and enjoyed the laugh.