Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Seeking Joy

The 6:30 a.m. prayer call required boldness in God today.  I was feeling anything but bold.  It should have come as no surprise that on the day that I was feeling anything but bold, fierce or phenomenal I heard by name called to pray.  This was an opportunity to walk in faith and a reminder that it isn't about how you feel at any given moment.  I thought I had pretty much walked away from writing, journaling, aspiring, seeking....I just started walking away, a trail of resignations in my path. 

I don't believe in having a mid-life crisis, I don't believe in speaking those things into existence.  With that being said, there is something going on.  So I look at a poem my father sent to me that screams at me daily, "Do It Now" by Stephen Grellet.  I wonder to myself, do what.  My commitment to blogging and journaling this time around is in pursuit of figuring out what now.

A proud mother of three incredible kidlets, my life has been largely defined by raising wonderful people.  Somewhere in that process I lost a bit too much of myself and started realizing that the pursuit of joy was a lost art.  I received a text from a friend recently that said, what have you done today to find joy?  My response was, nothing.  I have done nothing to find joy recently.  I'd like to change that today.

Wherever you are in your journey, no matter what road you are traveling, I'm wondering how are you finding and defining joy.  At this season of life I have gotten a bit too lost in the activities, actions and motions of life, without paying great attention to the overarching themes that matter.  I have gotten a bit lost and writing has typically helped me to find my way back home.  Today, I have made the decision to do it now, although I'm not sure what IT is.  I'm going to write more.  I'm going to whine less. I'm going to work on centering myself to find and seek joy.

Early in life I said that I wished that people had been more honest, more transparent and more committed to telling the truth about life.  Life is hard.  I had a mother who told me life was not fair and then encouraged, "the sooner you learn it the better you will be."  I have by many accounts a wonderful, blessed life, that has been filled with favor and guarded by the prayers of generations of women that have come before me.  As a realist, however, I recognize that somewhere in the journey I have lost my way a bit. Have you ever lost your way?  Have you ever experienced dancing so fast you lose the soundtrack of your life?  That is where this entry finds me today. 

A lover of arts, wine, music, writing, words, children and personal connection....walk with me a bit as I reignite my personal efforts to move beyond being, A Work In Progress.  You might say aren't we all a work in progress?  Maybe.  I just think there is more joy to be found, more work to be done and more reflection to live this life that I've been given to the fullest.  I'm on a quest to remember what I love, explore new things, look forward more often than I look back, and leave my past firmly in the past.  I'm seeking joy...before it is simply too late to find it.  Join me.  I'd love to have company on my journey.

No comments: