I have Native American in me - Really

Why does the world make my life harder?

In a recent interview with Beyonce she responded to a question about her Latina support noting that "I'm just jealous that I wasn't born Latina." You can read about the entire interview at Latina.com.

Raising a daughter in 2007 shouldn't be so hard, but surely it is.

I learned about the interview at What About Our Daughters - a really interesting blog that works to bring awareness about issues facing women from a variety of angles. I have to tell you I blog about just about anything but lately I've stayed away from critical world issues, content to talk about my little world. Without cable, access to BET, or enough time to enjoy television, I thought I was becoming exempt from discussing the impact of pop culture or recounting what the truth the news does not tell. Guess I can't afford that habit any longer.

Being a beautiful Black girl is hard enough without looking up and seeking the last pop icon declare she's jealous she wasn't born Latina. Nothing against Latina's but Ugly Betty star America Ferrera is holding down the fort. She is confident, secure, beautiful and last I read - proud of her heritage. Sigh. Shake my head. Beyonce? I'm telling my seven year old, my dear, "Let me upgrade you."

With my French name truly I have vivid memories of almost getting my butt beat for the unending debate about heritage in school. I grew up with pictures of Native Americans in my great grandmother's hallway, and watched our elders respond haphazardly that those folks were our ancestors. When I mentioned in school that I was 1/8th Indian, a playground full of kids almost ended my admiration of long french braids down the back of your head as a fashion style. I didn't recognize then that the issue of sensitivity in central city T-Town was the thin line between knowing your background and denying who you are. I am African-American.

My roots and ancestry clearly show, like most people, that there are a lot of other nationalities and ethnicities in play. My blue-eyed baby boy was a treat, but all of his pictures are colored with the brown crayola crayon. This lesson I learned on the playground has stayed with me for a lifetime.


I admire Halle Barry for knowing and articulating that she is a black woman, even though her mother is white. No debate here about her heritage and her pride, she is dealing with reality. A reality taught to her by her mother that when you look in the mirror and stand before the world itself you are Black. I still have to wonder if Angela Bassett would have gotten more work if the world was a different place. Scratch that. I know.

When my daughter at age 7 questions her beauty because she doesn't look like her class mates, its a renewed opportunity to help her appreciate her beauty and her characteristics, her culture and style, her individuality. She relates more to KeKe Palmer (Jump In, Akeelah and the Bee), than Hannah Montannah - but KeKe isn't quite getting the exposure of her counter parts. That process is enhanced when she can look at her family, friends, peers and others who are Black and beautiful. When we read her History books we often help tell the "rest of the story" to ensure that even in 3rd grade she has a firm understanding of our country and our culture. Jamestown was our first chapter in history this year, and we spend many days rewriting what the text book offered for fact. At all opportunities we look for the reality of our culture and our contributions to society.

Don't ask me why its important for her to know about Dr. Condi, Dr. Logan, Venus, Serena, Veronica Webb, Tyra Banks, Hazel Taylor (great granny doesn't have a web page - but she should), Avonia Harris, Soror Astronaut Mae Jemison, Rosa, Coretta, Sojourner, Maya, Oprah, Octavia, Angela Bassett, Michelle Obama - my future first lady, ME.....and the list continues. She has to be deeply connected to all of our images (some I like and some I appreciate less) so that she defines for herself true beauty. As we encounter growing pains and the opportunities to reinforce intelligence, grace, the arch of her back, and span of her hips ...... I'm glad it is happening now.

I pray she isn't quoted aspiring to something else as she's knocking at 3o's door. With all that she has been given, I pray she is confident about what she is and what she is not. She isn't in need of another culture, we've got enough work fully embracing, representing and upholding this one.

Raising Self-Confidence in Girls

My mother is a forward queen. She sends many articles and inspirational notes to my attention, but few have been as interesting as an article about a 17 year old aspiring film student, Kiri Davis. She made a short documentary about the impact of color and the ongoing debate about beauty standards featuring several young African-American women. The highlight of the film is a recreation of the experiment that was used in the historic Brown vs. the board of education case regarding education and segregation.

In her film, "A Girl Like Me ," Davis attempts, and succeeds, to complete an updated version of the experiment from the 1940s in which black children were given a black doll and a white doll, and then asked which one they thought was better, nice or "good." The sad case in this our current society is that they consistently chose the white doll.

I remember growing up in a predominately white school and aspiring to be Wonder Woman. That dream was never shattered, because I shared that aspiration with the only other African-American girl in my class. She was my savior in that regard. We were close for many reasons, the most essential - our common life experience. Together, though, we extended our hair, used aluminum foil for jewelry and embraced images of beauty that were not our own. Those thoughts could disappear - but I too see that not much has changed. Now we both have daughters of our own.

As the mother of a little girl I am both encouraged and discouraged with Kiri's work. I'm encouraged because she herself - a bright, creative, articulate and beautiful black young woman demonstrates the potential of young women in our society. I'm equally saddened by the number of little girls who without thought or hesitation selected the white doll. There is clearly more work to be done.

The reflections of the young women in the film speak to the Hollywood standard of beauty and their place in this society. They talk about their families, their hair, our ancestry and it is a painful reminder of all our children are forced to endure. My own daughter, with ample dolls of every hue, has been at odds over our relocation. "The girls ask me why my hair isn't out" she said to me just this past weekend. The words stung, as she is the only Black girl in her class and the twists, bows, braids and crossed tribute to Princess Leah are not enough to remove her from the white standard of beauty. Her hair is not out, in free form, flowing like her classmates.

As we continue our job as her parents to secure, build and reinforce her self-esteem - we know that our work is cut out for us. We have been playing Brandy's version of Cinderella for the last 4 days - because I was tired of the Disney array of princess consumption, for my daughter and my sons. We love American Girl products - from the Addy series to the modern girls of today, but Addy was a slave and we haven't seen a doll of the year yet that reflects a Black girl in our modern society. Doll choices and selections have changed, true, but it isn't all for the better.

The Bratz collection is still beyond me - dolls that reflect the worst parts of our society - belly out, skirts that show more than a little leg, hip hop gear and ice marketed to an audience of pre-school and elementary age girls. Our role as mothers, mentors and role models has to be to raise and elevate the expectations for girls in our society. There is no shortage of toy options - but we as parents have to fully invest in developing secure, well-adjusted and beautiful girls - from the inside out. Kiri Davis is proof that it is indeed possible. I'm proud of the potential the future holds.

When we look in the mirror we are faced with the collection of images that have shaped our thoughts, no matter what is looking back at us. Kiri Davis reminded me as a mother about the necessity to overcompensate for what the media, classroom, dolls, peers, etc. have to offer. Motherhood offers so much in the opportunity to raise the next generation. As evidenced by her video - our job should not only be to build up our own children, but the children of our greater community as well.