She's not so little...anymore

I have managed to not blog for nearly 6 months. The admittedly long silence was an opportunity to reconnect to why I enjoy writing at all. (Escapism 101.)  For at least a season I had lost the fun of random thoughts made live - in exchange for a hot political debate that was getting more and more fierce each day.  I was sick of it really - I had settled into my belief that real life was more relevant than the political jab of the day, and there were times it didn't matter who voted what at all.  After all - at one of the most historic times in my lifetime, there were days when I just resigned myself to the nasty comments and race bating that would fill my inbox and my comment section.   Today's reality is much more fun than the status of the economic stimulus plan (or Michelle's choice to go sleeveless) - my little one is 9 years old, and I think she still loves me. 

So, I have a 103 temperature - which is why I have the luxury of blogging at all.  I have been told that I basically can't do anything and forced to stay in bed for at least 3 days.  The Doctor asked me if it would help if she wrote me a sick memo until Wednesday - and I responded that I was self-employed.  With the saddest look I've seen on a medical employee as of late - she just shook her head and said she was sorry.  Try to stay in bed for 3 full days she said, and don't go out on Monday.  Yeah, right!  

Even with little energy the last thing anyone wants to be told is an extensive short list of what not to do.  I mean really - I'm fine.  (Well, in about 15 minute intervals I'm just fine.) I was pleasantly surprised when Little Miss had pity on me today and spent the beginning of her morning curled up with her mom. She's been exposed to all kinds of flu germs, and we've updated her profile on New Moon, laughed about a really bad teacher she used to have, and debated what videos are of interest for her profile. (We opted for a very short cheerleading clip.) It was nice to be reminded when hormones aren't raging that she is just a much bigger version of the young lady that used to make me smile 24 hours a day. 

Nowadays there is a regular debate about school work, clothing choices, study habits and puberty - followed by an obligatory check that she's isn't ready to elope or anything.  The conversations that I overhear at school about who likes who is enough to make me recheck how fast young people grow up - but I do remember my first crush. (and yes, it was in 4th grade.)  Armed with all of this traditional frustration - she caught me completely off guard today. For more than an hour she just cuddled up and reminded me of a time when it seemed as if nothing else in the world mattered.  I was reminded about why I love being a parent, but more specifically why I love being her mom.  She's funny, thoughtful, has a wonderful vocabulary, and goofiness is at her core.  My beautiful little bean pie isn't so little any more - but what a blessing to be reminded of her essence. 

Leave it to me though, I could relate this all to politics again.  It's a bit funny to watch people debate over Michelle's arms when I laugh to myself - we have a Black first lady.  It doesn't capture all that she is, but it is indeed reflective of who she is.  Every time I see a reporter gush over the first family, I think to myself - I've got a really great first family all my own.  And while America looks at the first family as some oddity of all the right forces converging at once - they look to me to be ordinary at times.  And maybe because I can see them as ordinary, it leaves room for them to be extraordinary as they so often are.  

Just like my LydiBean, who opted to be extraordinary and normal, all at the same time today. 

Breaking My Silence

For over a month I haven't had much to say in the blog world. I was and am a bit tired of the demise of the political debate, so much so that I reflected on my wave of different emotions over the course of the election. Early on I was very excited to just learn more about the overall process. I've always voted, but I haven't always had an emotional tie to the issues, the candidates, the particulars of the contest and then some. A lot has changed over the last year.

About a week ago I received an email forward to an entire distribution list which left a really bad taste in my mouth. I didn't respond, I just made "a mental note to self" that forwards are really the death of smart communication. Shortly thereafter I received another forward, once again spouting a mix of half truths about the record of Barack Obama. Voting record and stance on core issues is not lost on me, the emails also had some clear facts sprinkled in race bated material about "how frightening" the thought of him becoming president was.

I decided to respond to the entire distribution list of the person who originated the forward, and I knew that I was most assuredly walking a slippery slope when I hit send. I had considered the person a friend, but I realized that no friend of mine could be responsible for the level of ignorance that was being shared openly without thought. At least, that was what I determined after I read both emails again. The result - a few additional forwards, a challenge email directly to me, and then being copied on subsequent notes to her email list about "those people" who had responded to her entire list unnecessarily. I responded purposefully, realizing that if I said nothing it might mean that the information would stand as acceptable and fact. I thought the poorly substantiated and openly refuted emails deserved a response. I probably lost an acquaintance or two (three, four maybe five) in the process. I got some new peers along the way though - not everyone agreed with the tactic and tone that still makes my skin crawl.

The moment that I mentioned race two people wrote me back and said, "you just must not know her," she's the furthest thing from a racist. I actually didn't call her a racist, and I didn't say that the information was racist - I said that the emails were race-bating - because code words are intertwined to catch the emotion of the reader, with regard to race. It makes me think of the word associations that we used to do in school...or at least that is what they did in my independent private school in Ohio. Here, the word association is both with regard to race, stereotypes, socio-economic differences, and the widening gap between those who have and those who have not.

The messages captured enough stereotypes for a great SNL routine, or a really irritated Black professional at the very least. I was treated to a MLK quote, rants about "conservative values", implications about "helping those undeserving people get houses they couldn't afford", "our taxes", references to name, religion, and political affiliations - as if there is a candidate in existence that doesn't have any history. I have not been in the Obama Choir from day one, even my excitement was buried in concerns about exactly how he could impact the policies and procedures which have led us down this road. Yet, I have up until recently had very civil conversations with people along all political affiliations. I helped elect Bush, I have plenty of reflection to do.

Contrary to the respondents on the list who questioned my Christianity, I am a Christian. I do believe that the same advocacy for life at inception should translate into concern about what happens to life when it gets here, needs an education, needs health care, needs a solid start in life...but that would be ridiculous. To challenge someone to think about the financial implications of the war, the military strategy and the failed weapons of mass destruction argument - it is getting harder and harder to do. My Republican spouse has been treated to all types of nasty little rants on the conservative sites he frequents, I don't even spend that much time surfing nowadays. If we can't disagree with some degree of respect - what does that say about us as individuals, often individuals raising another generation.

I pondered whether or not to respond to the emails point by point, the Muslim references, the Bill Ayers saga, the inexperience issue, and the implication that those who support him are somehow waiting for a government ride. It isn't my life, or the life of those nearest and dearest to me - but I'm starting to wonder if it should matter at all. The assumptions and stereotypes aren't going to be changed with my reality, in fact not facing reality seems to be a prerequisite for some of the vicious lies and urban legends that are distributed. The inability to see this election with any balance is becoming an increasing concern. The inability to understand the difference between minimum and living wage - well, when the originator of the forward highlighted this as scary - I started to wonder about the different worlds we live in. The negativity has reached an all time high, where lynching pictures, racial slurs, and calls for even worse behavior become a rallying cry. I don't want to be part of that dialog - it is the worst common denominator for our lowest selves. I want more.

So, I haven't been writing much. I spent most of the last few days exchanging emails with the half dozen people who quietly applauded my efforts to respond to the ridiculous forwards. I have enjoyed creating an Internet relationship with people of diverse backgrounds, who supported the idea of "knocking it off." Getting past our own comfort zones and mis-information in order to be more responsible for the paradigm that we operate within, that should be the call that we each have. I stumbled on a few posts of mine that made me think, smile or reflect - some passionate, some posted well before their time. One of my favorites though isn't one of mine at all, it was an Open Letter to "Mr. President" whomever, the president will be. I have a great regard for a 40 year old man drinking 38 year port, deciding to capture his thoughts, because it was the first post in recent weeks to make me think that there is an ounce of sanity still in existence. We don't have to like 100% of a persons politics to have a high regard for the office of president....(now check this out) REGARDLESS of who is elected.

I don't believe that you have to butcher someone to elevate your own case, or trash someone endlessly to instigate a reply. I think you can agree to disagree - but I think you have to be mindful of the challenges that rest in front of you. Most people speak in soundbites and political generalities. Unfortunately, our bumber sticker days are pretty much in full swing and the education process for voters (registration, early voting, clothing selection, facts vs. fiction) is tilted at best. When you stand up against crazy, you might become an army of 1.

I am thankful for the opportunity to live at such a time as this. I'll be relieved when the election is over - but I have come to believe, the foolishness probably has a long, long way to go.

Running Scared - Double Talk in Identity Politics

Kwame Kilpatrick held his support of Obama hostage, and it was the talk of the blog world that he was being coy about who he'd support at the heart of the Democratic Primary Season. Eventually, he finally supported Obama, as if he was testing his electability, cultural acceptance and leadership all at the same time. It was irritating. Now it may be costly. As Obama accepted his support to ensure the "Get Out the Vote" in metro-Detroit, he uttered a few phrases of support for Kwame that will live in attack ads for the next 2 months. The implication - birds of a feather. The reality, Obama and Kwame couldn't be further from each other in many many ways. They have three unfortunate things in common. So now being black and male, and in leadership will serve as fuel for fear politics and further distance those who were already scared of black men. The correlation - Obama will do to our nation what Kwame did to Detroit.

For starters, Kwame may be a lot of things, but responsible for the status of Detroit isn't one of them. He may have added to it, he may have taken advantage of it, he may have benefited from it - but Kwame didn't create the Detroit that exists today. Suburban flight started long before Kwame took office, as the riots and the race tensions further distanced people from each other. In the center of the city we have Greek Town, Mexican Town, cultural districts - but to have a black anything scares people. Well, it scares the kind of people who stop at first glance, and don't dig any further. Detroit is a mess for many reasons, poverty and socio-economic factors far outrank race. The public school system, coupled with the death of the automotive industry, has led to a less educated workforce with more unemployment, more foreclosure and more strife than other areas. Yet, there are marvelous things happening there as well - they just don't make the headlines. Economic development, community collaboration, the arts district - they're growing. The downtown corridors are starting to look like a thriving place to be, and it took the 10 years that I was there to realize that there was life being breathed into the city, however slowly.

It is easier to link Obama to Kwame for fear, than to have some view of the situation steeped in reality. Obama is a smart man at his core, I've come to believe this based on the last 2 years of a savvy and strategic campaign. He was as clear about Kwame's liability factors as anyone. Yet the fear of Black People will be enough to help some voters link the two together. Michelle is not Carlita, and Obama is not Kwame, but that's no different than people tearing Obama down because of his race and lifting him up because of his multicultural appeal. It makes no good sense, but it makes headlines.

Meanwhile, Palin is in a political bubble, and the McCain campaign is going through every hoop imaginable to ensure no interviews, no press access, no access to her education records, no access to the non-vetting process that took place in Alaska. The more sensational dirt that comes out about Palin, the more people defend her. The more moral mayhem that the party reveals (Giuliani, McCain and Palin combined are pathetic), the more people sign on as if they'd accept this mess in any other situation. The reality is that this election is based between those For Obama,and those Against Obama. It frankly is starting no to matter who's on the other side, its ABO - anyone but Obama. And, as long as the Republican party, hate groups and the 527's supporting him can paint Obama as everything he is not - they stand a great likelihood of winning. At the core of many people, they already think the worse. The ads are just confirming what they already believer.

We've come far as a country, but we believe in double talk still. Its okay for McCain to flip flop, neither of them to live the values they'll try to place on the Supreme Court, and be void of any responsibility for the worst war investment ever - but that's because they're not Obama. If he had Palin on his ticket, everyone on this side of the sun would question his political sense, judgement and management. If McCain had Obama's fundraising, grassroots organization, campaign infrastructure or a solid family life representative of the average middle class - he'd be the second coming. Obama's educational pedigree at face value speaks to his decision to play by the rules of the game that the majority culture created. The difference, at its core - race. McCain is patriotic and loyal, Obama - well, uppity. And the Right will use code words and linkages to further divide our nation and imply what we already know many believe - he's disqualified from leadership, not due to experience, or work history, or decisions, or judgment. In the views of many Americans, Obama won't make the grade, because he's black. (1/2 black, but that's all it takes.)

Now, we sing "We are the World" and ignore the role color plays in the minds of everyday people. And we forget, that hardworking everyday people, in every shade, color and hue - they're prone to believe false advertising and sick stereotyping too. It captures the interest of bloggers because we live it, and for our ancestors, they died because of it.